I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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