Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
