Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
