Yo dont text me then not text me
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
