just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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