Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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