If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
