i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
