I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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