What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
