You work out of a Hotel?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
