Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
