just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
