You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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