I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
