i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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