Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
