that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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