So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
