Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
