I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Semen is not good for contacts.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
