apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
