There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
