I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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