Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
