oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
