she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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