Dual....:-)
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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