she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
