we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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