Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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