i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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