i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
