We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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