Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
