yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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