why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
