We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
