oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
