belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My underwear smells like fireworks.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
