I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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