i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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