barbara walters just said penis...
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
