didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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