ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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