Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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