im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
