I wish I could punch you in the face.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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