PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
