so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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