A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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