So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
