remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
